If I only.....

 

 

Quite obviously, I've been uttered by some kind of curse that's been forcing me to follow the same crazy perpetual pattern: No matter what I do, I always find myself a couple of tiny steps behind. Not by much, yet far enough to miss every golden opportunity thrown in my direction.
Just take this latest example: I could have easily become a new Canadian Governor General, if I only (how embarrassing!) haven't forgotten to mail in my job application.

 

The whole issue surrounding a governor's significance (or rather a lack of), is a classic case of this proverbial huge elephant in the room. Everyone sees it, but not a soul would dare to say it loud. Lets be honest and admit, that we, Canadians never express our opinion, if
there is just a slight risk we may sound impolite or inappropriate in any sense. We're simply not carved that way. And guess what - I also am the Canadian (occasionally even a proud one), but I've never been able to shake off that trace of my vulgar unsophisticated European origin. Therefore, I don't mind to raise my voice for all the others:

 

Yes, and there you have it: No matter how hard you rack your brain, you won't find a job as worthless as the Canadian Governor General.

 

No dispute there. However, since I've been involved in many pointless activities in my past and this one (unlike the others) comes with a very generous paycheck, I would, for the good of our country, lower my ethical standards and take the gig. Am I sufficiently qualified for the job? Please! What kind of question is that? If that woman from Haiti was capable to pull it off, then who wouldn't? It's just a matter of getting there, but that nut might be a bit tough to crack. My English is almost bad as hers, so I could score some points there, but realistically viewed, should I compete against someone like her, I'd probably won't stand a chance. Who am I kidding? A black female from developing country - who can beat that three-combination?

 

Well, it doesn't matter now, the job is taken and a David Johnston already has moved to his office. But that's fine, let him have it, I've never liked a desk job anyway. It's just another addition to a high pile of my missed opportunities. I haven't become a celebrated ballet dancer either, have I? Well, that's another story altogether. But, since I mentioned that, I must add, just for the record, I've never excelled in any physical activities, probably due to my clumsiness and a hopeless body and limbs motor discoordination, and not to mention I don't fancy a ballet at all. So, in a way I consider my failure to become new Baryshnikov a lucky break. I'd be most likely quite miserable going to work every day, should I succeed. 

 

Milo.